Hiccups

I have the damn hiccups (hiccoughs?). It's been years since I've felt this. Literally, years. I know that nobody reading this will give a damn, but it just seemed like the kind of self-indulgent, overly personal thing that I ought to post.

Now it's recorded for posterity.

Make your own Necronomicon

Want a tiny blank paper version of The Necronomicon to carry in your pocket? Perfect for reminders, shopping lists, or very short incantations, here are instructions on how to make your own. Check out the rest of the site for other easy-to-make spooky paper projects.

Halloween Tips

Here are some helpful Halloween tips taken from an e-mail I received at work:

1. Cars are a danger to trick-or-treaters. Be sure to wear dark clothing so those nasty drivers can't spot you.

2. If you suspect that candy you were given may have been tampered with, do not eat it. Have someone dumber and less important than you (baby brother/sister, local government official, student worker, etc.) try it out. If they don't keel over or start coughing up razorblades, you can enjoy the rest.

3. Carving a pumpkin with a sharp knife could lead to nasty cuts or even severed fingers. If you do hack off one or more of your digits, cut little holes in the top of your Jack-O-Lantern and put the spare fingers in for antennae or horns! Also, thumbs make great noses.

4. Don't ever go to the house of a stranger unless there is an adult with you, or you hear that he's passing out full-sized Milky Ways ('cause like Hell you're gonna pass those babies up).

5. If you're attacked by vampires while trick-or-treating, don't just stab them in the heart with a wooden stake -- even if they appear dead, you might have missed and they may be playing possum. It's just common sense to play it safe by cutting off their heads, too.

6. The reclusive Widow Burnley on Vanderbilt Avenue might not be a witch who steals the souls of children then dines on their husks... but it's best to burn her out of the neighborhood, just to be sure.

7. If the Green Goblin starts throwing pumpkin bombs at you, don't worry -- that's what your Spider-Sense (tm) is there for.

8. Make friends with a diabetic and trick or treat together. They'll enjoy the experience, but have to give the candy to somebody. Why not you?

9. If a house has no lights on and no cars in the driveway, it doesn't mean you can't trick or treat there -- it just means that that house is self-serve.

10. Check the phonebook for the homes of doctors and lawyers in your neighborhood. The more money they make, the better/bigger the candy. However, avoid the homes of dentists. They'll just be giving out toothbrushes or dental floss and patting themselves on the back for it.

11. Carry extra masks. If you find a house that is being particularly generous, simply change disguises and return over and over.

12. As the evening begins to wind down, make helpful suggestions like, "well, it doesn't look like there are too many kids left out here.... and you've still got a lot of candy, I see. I'm sure you'll probably be wanting to unload your surplus, there, because it's no secret that big backside of yours doesn't exactly need any extra encouragement."

13. Prey upon the weak.

Illusions

Here are links to a couple of interesting optical illusions I've come across recently. First is this circle of dots (just follow the instructions on the page), and second is this weird pair of faces, Mr. Angry and Mrs. Calm. Again, see the instructions on the page.

If anyone can explain to me how these work, feel free.

In other news today, the number of American soldiers killed in Iraq has now passed 2000. Untold thousands of Iraqi citizens (innocent men, women, and children) have also been killed. Yet the Bush administration continues to promote the illusion that they hold some kind of moral high ground. I guess it's some consolation that companies like Halliburton are making a lot of money from it all. How long will the American people tolerate such disgustingly incompetent leadership?

Wake Up.

Hippo Noodles

"I'm a hippopotamus and I got noodles on my back, noodles on my back, noodles on my back."

I have to assume that the source of the hippo's noodles is FSM, but I can't confirm that.

Madison Zombie Lurch

Madison, Wisconsin (my former stomping grounds) holds a Zombie Lurch. Beautiful, simply beautiful.

My Latest Bookmark

Beer Advocate ranks the top 100 beers, as rated by their readers. Determining the accuracy of the list will take some time and effort, but I'll get started ASAP.

Truth with a capital C

Did you miss the first week of The Colbert Report (and yes, I'm pronouncing it correctly)? If so, you're on notice. Monday's gravitas-off with Stone Phillips was beautiful.

Here's a link to BitTorrents of the entire week of shows.

How to Murder a Complete Stranger and Get Away With It

Here's a site that sells fake book covers. The idea is that you cover the book you're reading with one of these, and then other people will think you're reading a title like How to Overcome Nymphomania, Do-It-Yourself Liposuction, or How to Murder a Complete Stranger and Get Away With It.

I love the idea (it's always fun to confuse the normals), but I can't imagine I'd pay five bucks for one of them.

Top 100 (British) Toys

Want to spend a little while awash in nostalgia (provided that you were a kid in the 1970s)? This list of the Top 100 Toys will surely bring back some memories. The list is apparently British, so there are quite a few items on the list I've never heard of (and there are some notable omissions from the list that any American ex-kid would probably want to add, like Mr. Potato Head or Big Wheel), but overall this is a very fun read.

Some highlights for me personally include Pocketeers (#98), Merlin (#81), Stay Alive! (#74), Vertibird (#64) Tomy Cue Ball (#53), Hangman (#30), Chutes Away (#29), and Star Bird (#20 and pictured here).

G'Kar, 2003-2005

He was a little tan gerbil whose favorite food was pumpkin seeds. I'd fill up the food dish in the morning, but he would always wait by the cage door until I gave him a pumpkin seed, and then he'd scurry off to find a hiding place to enjoy his special treat.

He started acting lethargic yesterday morning, and it got worse over the last day, and tonight when I went to pick him up from the vet, thinking he would be doing better, I learned to my surprise and dismay that he didn't make it.

Good journey, little G'Kar, into the next life. we'll miss you, little buddy. :(

13 "coincidences"

In the time since September 11, 2001, US citizens have experienced numerous "terror alerts" that have warned of various potential attacks. This piece by Keith Olbermann of MSNBC notes that the timing of these warnings is curiously aligned with news that is damaging to the Bush administration, perhaps suggesting that one purpose of the warnings is to distract the public from the damaging news.

I am so glad that somebody has finally documented this. The first time I heard these "coincidences" mentioned was actually in a comedy bit by David Cross [amazon link to the cd], but it was the kind of humor that makes you laugh and makes you mad at the same time.

Bush and his handlers and his cronies are a bunch of liars and crooks.

The abridged Serenity

Check out Serenity in 2000 words or less for a humorous abbreviated version of the movie. MAJOR SPOILER WARNING: If you haven't seen the movie yet, go see it first, before reading this version.

I think I'll have to go see it again, now.

Is Bush in a freefall?

Apparently so. Flash plugin required.

When Christians Attack

I think there should be more Christians like this. Jesus told 'em to wander into a church and cause some chaos.

Cheney is a motherfucker

On the September 14, 2003 edition of Meet the Press, in response to questions regarding his relationship with Halliburton where he was employed as CEO for five years, from 1995 to 2000, Vice President Dick Cheney said:

"And since I left Halliburton to become George Bush's vice president, I've severed all my ties with the company, gotten rid of all my financial interest. I have no financial interest in Halliburton of any kind and haven't had, now, for over three years."

Well, apart from this 9.2 million dollars. Halliburton continues to get favored treatment from the government (such as contracts for Hurricane Katrina repairs) and when Halliburton makes money, Dick makes money.

There are a bunch of evil motherfuckers running this country right now, and they're working not for the people, but for corporations and their own pockets.

Don't Click It

Here's a site that asks you to navigate its interface without clicking any mouse buttons. Remove such a central piece of the user interface (the mouse click) and see how it changes the experience of navigating a Web site.

For me, I think it slowed me down a little, which may be a good thing. I actually read some of the pages.

Firefly and Serenity

Alex and I spent Friday night watching the last three episodes of Firefly, and then going to see Serenity.

We had the last Season 1 disk, so we watched "The Message," "Heart of Gold", and "Objects in Space". These weren't the strongest episodes of the series overall, I think, but I felt like we should watch all the TV eps before seeing the story continue on the big screen.

The cinema nearest my house is somewhat old: the auditoriums (auditoria?) are large and there's no stadium seating. However, they serve beer, so I can overlook the fact that the place is not state of the art. Being so close to the university, this cinema is usually frequented by a lot of students, but last weekend was Fall Break, so there wasn't much of a student showing.

We had a brief conversation with the guy at concessions; he said that at the premiere the previous weekend, some members of the audience had come in costume. Brown coats, and such? No, he said, actually the most popular costume was a bonnet, in honor of the episode with the stagecoach robbery and Mal in disguise.

The theatre was nearly empty at the showing we attended. (Note: I've since heard that the audience at a more popular cinema was much larger.)

I've watched Firefly over the last couple of weeks and I really enjoyed it, though my enjoyment was tempered by knowing that the story would soon end. If you don't know the show's history, here's a summary: only fourteen episodes were made, and eleven of them were aired on Fox. The idiots at Fox didn't understand the depth or quality of Firefly, and they aired the episodes out of sequence, and then cancelled the show before it got a chance to establish itself.

Firefly introduced a fascinating universe, and successfully gave an Old West frontier feel to a futuristic sci-fi setting. The characters were complex and layered, and the chemistry among the talented cast was wonderful. Upon the conclusion of several of the episodes, I found myself thinking, "Wow, that was really good." I guess the episodes that stick in my mind the most are "Ariel" and "Out of Gas," but all of them are worth watching and I recommend them highly to any sci-fi fan. It's just a shame that the story was cut short before it even really got going.

Serenity was an entertaining movie, but part of my enjoyment, I'm sure, is based on my finishing the TV series and wanting to see more of the characters and learn more of the story. I wonder if the film would be as enjoyable to someone who hadn't seen any of the Firefly episodes. I also wonder if the movie's success (if it has any commercial success; I haven't checked) might lead to a continuation on the small screen someday. Some of the cast would presumably be different, based on some (sad and surprising) developments that occured in the movie.

So in a nutshell, two thumbs up for both Firefly and Serenity, and two is all the thumbs I've got.

Florida's "Shoot First" Law

Florida has a new law in effect that allows gun owners to shoot anyone who they believe threaten their safety, not only in their own homes, but in public areas as well. So if you're planning a trip to the Sunshine State, you may want to avoid confrontations with, well, anyone.

Them Bush boys sure do know how to govern.

Do you watch Lost?

Then you might enjoy pondering this website for the Hanso Foundation. (they're the ones behind the Dharma Initiative.) (it's a Season 2 thing.)

Meet the Fockers, indeed.

A woman was kicked off of a Southwest Airlines flight because her T-shirt criticized the Bush administration. Here's what USA Today reports.

The Bush administration is incompetent. They are driving our country into disaster. On another note, I hope that woman sues and gets rich over this.

Equilibrium

I can imagine that some critics of this movie might call it simplistic or heavyhanded, but this sci-fi thriller was entertaining to me throughout. It's sort of a combination of 1984 and The Matrix, and may be one of the better Keanu Reeves movies I've seen that doesn't actually include Keanu Reeves. In Equilibrium, the masses are willingly drugged into submission with a chemical that deadens their emotions. Christian Bale, in the Keanu role, is a high-ranking bad-ass martial artist with a penchant for paired pistols, and when he begins to experience emotions, it leads to his conflict with the totalitarian state that he loyally serves. Equilibrium is an interesting post-Matrix dystopian fantasy starring not only Bale, but also Taye Diggs, Sean Bean (Boromir from LotR), and William Fichtner (the sheriff from Invasion, and the voice of Ken Rosenberg from the GTA games).

Equilibrium at IMDB

Shining

Someone's made a trailer for Kubrick's The Shining as if it were a romantic comedy.