The Cat Piano

This is a terribly cruel, but funny, device from the year 1650 (which I would never want to see built or used, because I wuv me some wittle wittens) that apparently makes music by poking cats with sharp sticks. "The musician would select cats whose voices were at different pitches then arrange them in the pens accordingly."

I'm thinking it has to be a joke from 1650.

The Uni(n)formed

Recently, two uniformed Homeland Security officers entered the Montgomery County Public Library in Little Falls, Maryland. One of them called for attention, and then made a public announcement that viewing pornographic sites on library computers is forbidden. When reminded by librarians that the patrons have the right to view the materials of their choice, the officer continued to press his case.

Now, the two officers have been reassigned, and county officials are scrambling to apologize for the incident. The county also plans to train its homeland security officers on residents' First Amendment rights under the U.S. Constitution. I for one am glad that the freaking Constitution is going to be discussed with the Homeland Security officers. I'm glad they'll get to hear something about it.

Here's more from the Washington Post and from Gazette.net, which is apparently in Maryland.

We're Gonna Turn It On, We're Gonna Bring You The Power

For years, the old PBS childrens' show The Electric Company, has been conspicuously absent from DVD. That has now changed, as a set of Electric Company DVDs recently became available.

I rented Disc 2 (since Disc 1 had a long Netflix wait) and checked out a couple of episodes tonight - this is like injecting nostalgia straight into the vein. The funky background music over the end credits made my jaw drop in instant recollection. It's all there: the ridiculous sketches with Morgan Freeman, Rita Moreno, and the rest of the familiar cast, the 1970's special effects, the cartoons and songs, and the repeated lessons about words and phonics. And Letterman!

This DVD is crazy retro for somebody my age who watched this show as a kid. It would also be cool, I think, to show this DVD to small children and see if they get into it. I think I also told Brent I'd show it to him.

Brent is the man. I ate at least two Krispy Kreme donuts today because of Brent. Maybe three. I can't remember.

Mitch's

Well, after a busy work week, there was time after hours on Friday for a little R&R at Mitch's, the famous Hillsborough Street tavern where a scene from the beloved Kevin Costner movie Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger was filmed. A few of us met after work and shared some drinks and foods and laughs. Then I found a new link for my blog, and I gained a Flickr friend.

I also discovered tonight that there's a Flickr group for umm, character mouth slippers, or something, so I added my photo to the group.

Coasting a little

Wow, what does it say about me when the only posts are those like this one offering apologies for the lack of posts? Perhaps it's just that my blogging wave is in a trough, but it will eventually be at a crest again.

I've been distracted in part by a number of time-travel-related episodes of ST:TNG that have aired recently, such as the one in which Berlinghoff Rasmussen (Matt Frewer, who also played "Max Headroom") claims to be a historian from the future. Sensors can't penetrate Rasmussen's spacecraft, because the hull is made of some kind of "plasticized tritanium mesh." Heh.

In the mean time, check out "About Me" on Jack Bauer's Friendster profile at McSweeney's.

Surprise

Scott is ready to eat. A time travel adventure to Thanksgiving of 2005!

Time Travel in Red Dwarf

Consider this an appetizer. Here is a list of time-travel-related episodes of Red Dwarf, the BBC television comedy. I'm sure there are other instances of Red Dwarf time travel, but this list includes only episodes featuring some sort of time travel as a major plot point. Questions?

• 1.1 The End: Is it time travel to be put into stasis for longer than expected?


• 1.2 Future Echoes: Faster-than-light travel leads to visions of the future; will this future come to pass?


• 2.4 Stasis Leak: The crew find a way to travel back in time, can they change their own present?


• 3.1 Backwards: The crew visit an alternate Earth where time runs backwards and effect precedes cause.


• 3.4 Timeslides: The crew discover a way to travel into photographs, and thus into the past. Shenanigans ensue.


• 4.4 White Hole: A white hole, spewing time into the universe. So what is it?


• 5.2 The Inquisitor: A time-traveling android may erase the crew from history altogether.


• 6.6 Out Of Time: The crew meet versions of themselves from the future.


• 7.1 Tikka To Ride: Destruction of the curry supplies lead to a journey to Dallas, November 22, 1963.


• 7.2 Ouroborous: The crew find a tear in reality and discover an alternate dimension, and Lister learns something about his parents.

Rodent Agenda

I'll get to that time travel stuff soon, I promise. Right now here's a transcript of a bit that cracked me up from last night's Colbert Report:

I build up a healthy head of outrage pretty often on this show, but I save the most blood-vessel-bursting affronts to our core American values for something I call...

The Craziest F#?king Thing I've Ever Heard.

(animated title graphic)

You know, the mainstream media excuses a lot of revolting behavior, but I can't let this one pass easily. Take a look at this.

(video of hamster and snake sharing a cage)

This footage came off the satellite from the Tokyo Zoo. It's a snake -- get this -- living with a hamster. This is not part of God's plan. That fluffy little muffin belongs in that snake's belly, to be slowly dissolved by digestive juices over a period of three to five days. But no, this snake has chosen to defy God's law.

Snake, stop buying into the pacifist vegetarian rodent agenda and swallow that hamster. Being a predator is not a chioice, it's the natural order. What's next, turtles befriending hippos?

(video of tortoise and baby hippo pals)

Jimmy, get that off! Get that off! Snake, you've got until next week to straighten yourself out. If you don't eat that hamster, you're a coward.

Because I've heard of lions lying down with lambs, but snakes lying down with hamsters?

That's The Craziest F#?king Thing I've Ever Heard.